Relationships: Are they simple or complex?

The work I do makes me meet a lot of people from all walks of life and brings out lot of interesting conversations. Just recently I was having a conversation with someone and we went into an intense dialogue of how human relationships have evolved over a period of time. How it has become more complex or what is it that has brought such a transformation from being easy to complex now.

Although I would like to think that it was simple and easy earlier and that it has become more complex now, but I can’t stop myself from thinking that even in the past if we go really far or even if we think of it in the recent past, human relationships have been always complex; they have never been easy or simple. Our historical books are the proof where we can see how our relationships were complicated even then. Now it’s on us whether we want to accept it or not!

So the next question that arises is why human relationships are complicated. Well, we humans are complex beings, isn’t it? What do you expect from us – simplicity? As much as we would want it, chances are we will drive ourselves so much towards simplicity that ultimately we will make even the simple thing more complex. And No! It’s not just a women or men thing – it’s not specific to any gender, it’s a generic human tendency.

It’s a simple fact wherever there are humans, complications and complexities are bound to be exist. It’s the differences and variance that make us superior than any other species.

It’s not entirely a wrong thing to be different from each other, however, the problem arises when we are not able to accept the differences and we think that we are the best and nobody is better than us. So to answer the next question of how we can make our complex relationships simpler or at least try to see it from a simplistic frame, acceptance is the key and the answer!

It sounds like a very undemanding, effortless, straightforward word but don’t get fooled in thinking that what is so difficult in being accepting towards another point of view or towards someone else’s idea or towards someone’s demands. What is so difficult in acceptance?

Acceptance is easier said than done. As humans, we all operate from our own experiences, perceptions and beliefs and that is what makes acceptance the most difficult thing to do. Before being acceptable to anything we think about various things such as “what if”, “why should I” or “I don’t want to” – the reasons can be many for such thoughts to come but they do come up.

So, does it mean that we should accept everything that the other person says whether or not it makes us happy? No, this is not what I mean by acceptance! Here acceptance is having your opinion or your idea and yet being acceptable to other person’s thought or opinion without any pre-conceived perceptions and judgements.

And how can this help in our relationships? Well, it helps in a big way because we become more considerate, appreciative and aware, and to a great extent compassionate and empathetic towards the other person. Just imagine that if everybody starts thinking in this way – our world will change as we know it – it will only turn more beautiful and more peaceful in every way.